I just went back to New York for the first time in four years… I say ‘back’ because I used to live here in what now feels like a lifetime ago. My travels have taken me all over the place, but it was the city of New York that taught me how to use my wings. Here I learned lessons about life, about people, and about myself that I wouldn’t have learned anywhere else. I think of New York as a crucible, where I went in one way and emerged changed for the better… like a concentrated and more resourceful version of myself.
I grew up (mostly) in a small town in the South. I went to university in a small town in the South. As soon as I finished my senior exams, I packed up my things and moved straight to New York. I didn’t even bother to attend my graduation; I instructed the school to send the diploma to my parents since they had paid for it. I had had ENOUGH of small towns.
I rented a room at a women’s hotel, the Martha Washington (which no longer exists). I checked in with two enormous suitcases; one full of clothes and shoes, and the other full of boxes of Stoned Wheat Thins crackers and makeup. I figured I could live on crackers for a while if my money ran out before I got a job, so they were an odd but healthy security blanket. I soon learned that the nearest deli made an egg salad sandwich with what any sane person would consider four sandwiches worth of egg salad. I’d put the leftovers into the small fridge in my hotel room and eat my Stoned Wheat Thins with egg salad perched on top for the next few days. I’d only been here a week and I’d moved straight from bare crackers to egg salad hors d’oeuvres. How hard could New York be?
I paid my weekly rent at the Martha Washington while I pounded the pavement looking for work on Wall Street. This isn’t easy at the best of times, but during the recession of early 1991, armed with a degree in Philosophy from a school in the South that few in New York had heard of, it was especially tricky. I remember having a great interview with the man who was in charge of hiring Investment Banking trainees at Paine Webber (now UBS). With refreshing honesty, told me that he’d love to hire me for one of their 13 spots, but when he had a stack of resumes on his desk from bright young men out of schools he knew, what would he tell his boss if he hired me, a young lady from a school he didn’t know very well, if I couldn’t cut it? I thanked him for being so transparent with me. At least I knew where I stood.
Eventually I did find a good job. I was even able to rent my very own apartment before I made it through my entire stash of Stoned Wheat Thins! The best part of the job was that I met one of my lifelong best friends there (Hi Michele B!). She was a born and bred street-smart New York Italian fireball; she knew EVERYONE and everything. Every bartender. Every doorman. Every club promoter. Every good place to buy discount shoes. Every good Italian restaurant downtown near our office. We’d stand by our office fax machine on Fridays when invitations to various clubs would be sent to her. We’d go through them all, decide which ones looked the best, and race out on our lunch hour, giddy with excitement to buy something new to wear that night. Who would be there? Who would we meet? What would happen? That night might change our whole life!
In New York, I felt like my life went from black and white to colour. It is a place where you can truly become anything you want. Everyone else is so busy trying to become what they want that the herd energy just sweeps you along with it. Even visitors feel this energy in the street. Eight months after I got my job, I got another job, my DREAM job in finance. I was hired by a hedge fund in their crazy, heady, early days before they became regulated. My boss trusted me and gave me more responsibility than any 23 year old should ever have. I worked around the clock, literally. I traded currencies and bonds that were active in all time zones, so I always had to be awake or on call. Even if I was asleep, I had brokers waking me up at least hourly. I took catnaps under the office ping pong table if the markets were quiet. Like lots of people in high finance, I had a crazy boss. Properly crazy. He routinely threw phones at me and lost his temper with people all day every day. Brokers would often refuse to cover our account (which is unheard of… a broker turning down commission?!) because he was so difficult and unreasonable to deal with. He made people cry. He ruined peoples’ days. I think my unspoken role was to be the human buffer between his insanity and the business world he had to exist in. Every day there were massive disputes to straighten out over the prices of the instruments we traded. It was an insane environment with huge sums of money, clever people, big highs, and very dark lows. Anytime I went out to dinner with my friends, they wanted to know the work story du jour, and my exhausting boss provided them in spades.
Everyone around me had fascinating stories too, which I lapped up. I was friendly with a lady who rented out her 5th Avenue apartment for a few weeks every year, which earned her enough money to live on for the rest of the year. Her coffee table was an enormous taxidermied tortoise! I dated an ex-addict for a long time, so learned a lot about addiction. I dated someone much much older than I was (a hazzan) who taught me everything I needed to know about economics. I dated someone younger who bought me a turtle and silk pyjamas. Then I gave back the turtle and bought myself a blue and gold macaw parrot, who I’d take out to lunch with me. I named him Gramley, after a Federal Reserve Board governor I was friendly with in my job. Gramley and I had a great time finding outdoor cafes with wrought iron chairs suitable for him to perch on during a meal. I became friends with a lady named Elaine, a muse of Francesco Scavullo, and I’d go to fashion week with her, sitting in the front row seat of her accessory designer friend who was in rehab. Every day was an adventure with an unexpected twist. I couldn’t imagine ever being anywhere else. I fell as tightly into the fabric of New York as a stone wedged in the pavement. I’m very grateful for everything the city taught me, especially for the tough lessons that I didn’t want to learn.
When I went back to New York this trip, my past seemed to bloom again. I felt exactly like the same 20-something year old girl who belonged to New York, before marriage, before motherhood, and before I became this person approaching 50. Every nook and cranny of New York seems to hold a memory for me. I remembered a time I walked down Broadway the morning after a blizzard and took photos of the Flatiron building without a soul in sight. I walked past the apartment I almost rented on Sullivan Street which had a shower in the kitchen. I passed where the Elephant and Castle cafe used to be, and remembered fondly that they served hangover-killing cappuccinos in enormous soup bowls. I saw that my favourite vegetarian restaurant on Astor Place is now a Starbucks. I took my husband to El Parador, a very out of the way Mexican restaurant that has been going for 50 years (the menu has barely changed since I started going 25 years ago). I used to go so often that they even greeted my parents when they visited town. I went to look at Sniffen Court on 36th Street, the most charming mews in Manhattan. It was located right between my first apartment and the nearest grocery store. My bad pun I liked to repeat to my friends EVERY time we walked past was that if I were an allergist, I’d open my practice in Sniffen Court (geddit?!). I wheeled out my old joke for my husband who just rolled his eyes (He’s French… they think Jerry Lewis is funny, what do they know about humour?). So many places were exactly the same, so it felt as if nothing had changed. So many places were different, and that made me nostalgic for my New York, the old New York, the one with fewer Starbucks and Zaras. The one with more grit and graffiti, and less polish.
My uncle recently reminded me of the famous philosopher Heraclitus’ quote, ‘No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.’ That’s certainly something I felt this trip. New York is not the same. And I’m not the same young New Yorker that I once was, but for a long stretches of time, she was right beside me as I walked through the city. Her devotion to New York, her attachment to its energy, and her love for the somewhat magical way the light hits the sidewalk at night and makes it sparkle.
(One thing that has mercifully remained the same is the amazing shoe sale at Bergdorf Goodman, where I managed to score these Laurence Dacade sandals for 50% off. I had nothing with the same 1960’s vibe in my suitcase, so I wore my staple silver sequin skirt and the white M&S shirt from previous posts).
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68 Comments
Michelle
August 24, 2016 at 7:53 AMSuch an awesome post Lisa, the nostalgia struck a chord with me for my own past self. London was my Mecca at the tender age of 20 & I still adore her today, although as you explain so poetically, in a different way as a different person.
How fortuitous you met Michele B! Every girl needs a partner in crime in the big city & she sounds brilliant!
I must say it is fabulous to see you wearing the white M&S shirt with your incredible sequin skirt & beautiful new shoes – This outfit is The Sequinist!
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 10:04 AMThank you Michelle… I think people like us who leave home are so grateful to find our ‘promised land’ and have a strong connection to it. Michele B is as brilliant now as she was then; still a firecracker with a huge heart. So pleased you liked it! xx
Sharron Goodyear
August 24, 2016 at 9:26 AMWow. What an amazing post! I truly loved reading this and was totally immersed in your story! You should write a book. You write so well and now I want to hear the rest! ???? Thanks for sharing.
Sharron (www.keepingitfabulous.com) Xxx
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 9:57 AMOh Sharon, thank you so much. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed it! Maybe I’ll have to write a sequel for what happens next! xx
Sharron Goodyear
August 24, 2016 at 10:56 AMYou totally should! It was brilliant! 🙂 x
Isalondon
August 24, 2016 at 10:42 AMSuch a fantastic read Lisa, you should write a book and yes I feel like that too when going back to Paris.I have evolved and so has Paris but the shadows of the past still lingers , the good and the bad, that made me who I am today.X ( insta @isabellestudio)
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 10:54 AMThank you, Isabelle. I love that this resonated with you as well. xx
Charlotte
August 24, 2016 at 2:11 PMA lovely post – I have spent significant amounts of time living in a few cities around the world & feel as you did- both nostalgic& slightly sad when I re-visit them as they’ve changed as much as remaining the same. Thanks for sharing & great shoes!
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 4:25 PMThank you Charlotte. The change is really bittersweet, isn’t it? I’m grateful NY hasn’t changed more than it has. I think if you are there and present for the changes, it feels a little less traumatic than taking it all in at once! xx
Catherine, Not Dressed As Lamb
August 24, 2016 at 2:14 PMOkay so Michelle and Sharron have both said exactly what I wanted to say: You should write a book about this, I get the same feeling about London every time I go back, and you look flippin AMAZEBALLS in your trusty sequin skirt and those sandals. The M&S shirt is a classic and so versatile it seems…!
I can totally get why you’d feel like this about NY… I’ve been just the once (as an adult) but it made me wish that I’d had the chance to live there when I was younger. This was absolutely beautifully written and has me on tenterhooks now for the next instalment!!!!!!!!!
Catherine x
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 4:34 PMThank you so much, Catherine. I guess I HAVE to do an instalment now! I’m really glad you enjoyed reading about my special city.
I’m sure you do feel just the same about London; it is where many big things happened in your life (Keef!) and London’s special energy feeds your own colourful soul. xx
Marsha Rubio
August 24, 2016 at 2:25 PMLoved, loved, loved your story. I had a similar experience and ended up leaving after the crash of 2008. ( I was also working with a hedge fund.) I have yet to return but my memories of living in Manhattan keep the experience alive and your post brought everything back as if it were yesterday. When I first moved there, I would take the bus or subway to work until I realized that the distance was easily walkable and the scenery was so exciting. Every block had it’s own personality and I couldn’t get enough!
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 4:22 PMYou’re absolutely right about every block having its own personality; I never realise how long or far I walk in NY because I’m so distracted by everything there is to look at. Thank you so much for reading, Marsha. I’m so pleased you liked it. xx
Tracey
August 24, 2016 at 4:13 PMI’m crying and I’m not sure why? It might be your uncles saying which struck a cord anyway I bloody love this post. I love to hear a good story ( being somewhat of a story teller myself) I’ve read it twice. I’ve never lived in New York but it was always my dream, can you believe I’ve never even visited!! . It just looks such a fabulous city , more so as I’m an avid Sex in the City fan. Thankyou for sharing , Tracey xx
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 4:20 PMOh Tracey, don’t cry! I know, I love that quote, it really is so true. You HAVE to visit NY… just HAVE to. I’m so glad you enjoyed reading. xx
Emma
August 24, 2016 at 4:24 PMBrilliant post. I felt I was right there with you in NY. x
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 4:52 PMThank you, Emma! xx
Stacey Keeling
August 24, 2016 at 7:46 PMThat’s just a gorgeous outfit and I enjoyed reading your story too.
Thanks for leaving me such a sweet message at Poofing the Pillows. That was my first fashion post and who knows….it could be the last. It was fun but scary. 🙂
Lisa
August 24, 2016 at 8:56 PMThank you, Stacey! I found your blog on Lana’s link up. xx
Mithra Ballesteros
August 25, 2016 at 3:19 AMFascinating. Didn’t want this one to end. Your observations looking backwards are at least as interesting as your remembrances. Would young New York Lisa ever have predicted how handy that degree in philosophy would turn out to be? Superb!
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 8:45 AMThank you so much Mithra. I’m thrilled you enjoyed it, especially someone with your writing talent. I often think how useful that philosophy degree is for pure life enjoyment purposes! xx
Little Red
August 25, 2016 at 6:12 AMWonderful post with evocative writing. I really felt I was right there with you, feeling all emotions you were feeling.
And mad props for having the balls to just up and move to NYC like that!
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 8:40 AMThanks so much, sweet Little Red! xx
Tanya
August 25, 2016 at 6:39 AMThank you for this wonderful post – your writing really did take me back to a time and a place in my own life. I’m a South African, but spent a few years in London in my late twenties. I go back every couple of years, either for work, or on holiday. Every time I do, I feel like part of me steps back into the skin of that 20-something girl again – as you say, there are memories around every corner. In London, far from home and the support of my family, I grew up – it was terrifying, but also exhilarating. In London I learned that I can move half way around the world, and will be able to look after myself, find a flat and a job, and thrive. I come from a close-knit, sheltered family, and learning to stand on my own in London was a priceless gift. Two years ago, my husband and I took our two boys to England, and I led them around London, showing them all my old haunts. My sons were desperately impressed by it all, and kept remarking that they didn’t know how I knew where to go – I realized that, despite the huge changes in London and the almost 20 years of intervening years, the geography of the city is engraved in my heart. Thank you for taking me back, even if only for today.
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 8:57 AMTanya, I’m glad that you enjoyed this post so much. You and I shared very similar experiences, didn’t we? It is such an empowering gift for a young woman to learn that she can, as you point out, look after herself, find a flat, make a life for herself and THRIVE. You know you can figure things out on the fly, wherever you end up. I love your phrase– ‘the geography of the city is engraved in my heart.’ Kudos for impressing your boys with your urban knowledge… priceless!
Can you believe that when I left New York a few years after the time period of this post, I went to live in South Africa (from 1995 to 2001)!!
Thank you for reading. xx
Abby
August 25, 2016 at 1:06 PMWOW! This was such an amazing post. I savoured every single sentence, down to the last word (or should I say cracker:). I loved learning so much about you Lisa and the city that has changed you forever. You’ve had such a fascinating life there, it reads like a novel! And you look gorgeous as usual! xx Abby
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 1:44 PMThank you sweet Abby! I am so thrilled that you liked it. Lots of love to you xx
Linda Hobden
August 25, 2016 at 2:18 PMNot been to New York City but I could feel its vibes through your wonderful post – and those sandals are tempting me to board the next plane ….
visited via Sydney Fashion Hunter Fashion Link
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 6:39 PMThank you, Linda! I hope I’ve inspired you to look into tickets one day… xx
nicole
August 25, 2016 at 5:01 PMThanks for linking up to Top of the World Style.
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 6:38 PMThank you for hosting! xx
Rachel
August 25, 2016 at 5:45 PMAbsolutely loved reading this! I felt like a giddy, overtired, 20-something again myself. Thank you!
Lisa
August 25, 2016 at 6:38 PMHaha, you’re so welcome, Rachel! Thank you for reading. xx
Sue
August 26, 2016 at 12:01 PMLoved this Lisa! I’ve visited New York twice and as I live in Australia a trip to the Big Apple is certainly an experience. I loved everything about NYC the vibe, the people, the size. You have whetted my appetite to return again.
Lisa
August 26, 2016 at 12:03 PMI’m glad you enjoyed reading it, Sue! It sounds like it is about time for you to take a bite out of the Big Apple again…xx
Linda
August 26, 2016 at 2:36 PMAmazing photos! I can really see how New York would be like hitting a switch and changing everything to colour from black and white. I have friends who’ve gone to live in America for 6 months for business (we’re from Australia), and on the way to their home base (Carmel by the Sea), they stopped off in New York and stayed for a week or so. They said it was incredible, and beyond describing unless you’re actually there. It just felt truly ‘alive’ to them. I hope to visit one day!!
Lisa
August 26, 2016 at 4:03 PMYou must, Linda! It is worth the hellishly long trip and time change to experience that energy. Keep me posted! xx
amy
August 26, 2016 at 3:22 PMBeautiful story and photos! Love your sequin skirt too!
Lisa
August 26, 2016 at 4:02 PMThank you, Amy! I’m glad you liked it all. xx
Liz
August 28, 2016 at 2:14 PMLisa, this is an exquisitely written post. Your feelings shine through as bright as your sequins and I read it, hearing your voice narrating it. Bravo xxxxxxxxxx
Lisa
August 28, 2016 at 8:50 PMOh, thank you SO much Liz. I really appreciate that. xx
Patti
August 28, 2016 at 10:33 PMI enjoyed every word of this post, Lisa! I am trying to make NYC my retirement city. I adore its energy and diversity. Love your sequined skirt too! xo
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
Lisa
August 28, 2016 at 10:34 PMThanks so much, Patti. Maybe we’ll be neighbours!? xx
jodie filogomo
August 29, 2016 at 12:55 AMWhat fabulous memories!! It’s so fun to revisit our haunts from the younger days!!
And I must admit, I’m so glad you’re wearing a totally dressy skirt—it looks fabulous!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Lisa
August 29, 2016 at 7:29 AMThank you so much, Jodie! xx
Suzy Turner
August 29, 2016 at 10:14 AMWhat a beautiful post, Lisa. I’m so envious of you having lived in New York! How cool that must’ve been. I visited NY back at the beginning of 2009 and completely fell in love with the city. We’d just spent 10 days in Vegas so it was such a refreshing change. I’d absolutely love to go back one of these days. It’s on our list! A day or two after we returned home, was when that amazing pilot managed to land the plane safely on the Hudson river. I’ll never forget it!
Love your skirt and shoes combo. You look absolutely stunning, but then you always do!! Gorgeous 🙂
Suzy xx
http://www.suzyturner.com
Lisa
August 29, 2016 at 3:06 PMOh, thank you so much Suzy. I’m so glad that you (a writer!) liked the post. Sounds like you’re overdue for a trip back to NYC. xx
Emma Peach
August 29, 2016 at 10:31 AMThis is bloody brilliant Lisa! I was so immersed in your story – a few lines in and I was wishing you’d write a book. I’m not the only one so you’ve got guaranteed readers 😉 I love that you had a parrot and took him out to restaurants! I always wanted a parrot when I was younger and lived at home but my mum wouldn’t let me have one so my uncle painted a lovely picture of a blue and gold macaw. It’s still on my bedroom wall at my mum’s 🙂
Lisa
August 29, 2016 at 3:05 PMI’m so pleased you liked the post, Emma! Another parrot lover, who knew?! xx
Sophie at Franglaise Mummy
September 2, 2016 at 11:02 AMWow! What a fantastic read! This reminds me a lot of my time in Nice, France. I moved there straight from university and lived there for 12 years, leaving with a French husband, English/French daughter, French dog and French cat under my arm. Whenever I go back I see that everything is so different and still just the same all at once, and literally every corner of every street holds memories of my 20 something self. Love, love that river quote too – so true 🙂 xx
Lisa
September 2, 2016 at 2:22 PMThank you Sophie! I’m so pleased you enjoyed this. It sounds like you had a similar experience in Nice…your own coming of age away from home. xx
No Fear of Fashion
September 2, 2016 at 9:37 PMGosh Lisa, this was GOOD! My husband keeps saying “let’s go to bed now”, but I had to read everything of this post first. Loved it. An your shoes and skirt. Don’t you love to buy something terrific for half price?
Greetje
Lisa
September 3, 2016 at 7:43 AMI’m so thrilled you enjoyed it, Greetje! There is nothing like the thrill of buying something you love for 50% off… I wish I could bottle that feeling and sell it, lol! xx
Stella
September 3, 2016 at 9:36 AMI really love reading your story Lisa! How did I miss this post? Overtime of reading your posts is like making a small movie in my head, your writing is really exceptional my dear! Your story with NY reminds me of when I was 18 and came in Mykonos with 2 suitcases as well, which included all of my belongings back then! This phrase from Heraclitus says it all, I could not agree more! As for your look, it is absolute perfection, that skirt is love at first sight! <3
Thank you so much for sharing another beautiful story and look! Have a great weekend!
Stella
http://www.stellaasteria.com
Lisa
September 3, 2016 at 2:07 PMI’m so pleased you can relate to my story, and I’m so glad you like my sequin skirt (which I wear on repeat) as much as I do! I’m so keen coming to Mykonos one summer soon; your Instagram really makes it look magical and I’ve never been to that part of Greece before. Enjoy your weekend, beautiful. xx
Shellie @ The FABulous Journey
September 6, 2016 at 1:24 AMWhat a fabulous backdrop…sequins and sky scrapers! Thank you for adding your style flair to the My Refined Style Linkup.
Shellie
Lisa
September 6, 2016 at 8:19 PMThanks Shellie! xx
Annette
September 6, 2016 at 10:16 AMLisa, I have hardly ever read such a fantastic post where I almost felt I am part of the story! You described it so well and lively, you must have had an amazing time.
I have been to NY twice as a tourist only and really enjoyed it. So happy my daughter can now live there and experience this city for a couple of months.
The quote is so true as I have been to the most remote places in Asia in the 80s and don’t want to go back there as it wouldn’t be the same and I want to keep the memories of those times…
xo
Annette | http://www.ladyofstyle.com
Lisa
September 16, 2016 at 6:04 PMThank you, Annette. I enjoyed writing this, so I’m thrilled that you enjoyed reading it. Your daughter will have her own amazing NY experiences, I have NO doubt. xx
Michelle
September 8, 2016 at 5:42 PMWhat a wonderful, wonderful post Lisa. I felt as if I was right beside you as you took a walk down memory lane and revisited your old haunts. Beautifully written with just the perfect touch of nostalgia.
Michelle xx
Lisa
September 8, 2016 at 7:41 PMThank you so much, darling Michelle. xx
Anna Parkes
October 9, 2016 at 7:18 PMLisa, this is such a great piece of writing. You’ve conveyed the NY atmosphere so beautifully. These must have been exciting, heady days for the young girl that you were. Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight into your formative life.
The sandals are fabulous of course, as is the rest of your outfit.
Have a great week x
Anna
http://www.annasislandstyle.com
Lisa
October 9, 2016 at 8:20 PMThank you so much, Anna. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed reading it; it means a lot to have you say that! xx
LA CONTESSA
November 2, 2016 at 4:04 PMGREAT STORY……………..enjoyed very much!Where in SOUTH AFRICA did you live?
Lisa
November 2, 2016 at 6:02 PMThank you! I lived in Capetown for a couple of years, but mostly in Johannesburg. It feels like a lifetime ago, and it feels like yesterday. xx
melissa
June 12, 2017 at 11:16 PMAh, New York! I love this! When I was a fashion marketing major, in a small school in the south that no one had ever heard of, I knew exactly what I was going to do and how my life would look. I was going to move straight to NYC, work in the fashion industry, stay single, and get a cat. Not EXACTLY the way it worked out! And from one southern gal to another, you know you got that great storytelling vibe because you grew up in a small town in the south. 🙂 This is really beautiful, Lisa. So well written. I can’t stop thinking about the apartment with a kitchen in the shower. 😀 This was a joy to read.
~Melissa
Lisa
June 13, 2017 at 10:20 PMThank you so much, Melissa. I’m so glad you enjoyed this post; it was a real chunk of my life in there! xx
melissa
June 13, 2017 at 10:29 PMAlso- I meant “shower in the kitchen”….. ?